[b]Advice......[/b]

last SG · 2005-02-14T18:46:22+00:00

Hi everyone, yah, can really see the light but I will not rush into things yet, still no feeling for her, or maybe, I still need lots of time to recover and...

tan_william SG

Its hard..but you can do it one..slowly..time will heal us..

icepole SG

be strong!

ptw SG

Time will heal, Its already reaching 4 months, not yet fully recovered but on the way to recovery. Starting a relationship is so sweet and wonderful but I never dream abt ending it like a nightmare. Never think that I will end up in such state.

I must really thank all of you who gave me all encouragement. Dilema, hope to love another girl but stepping out of the nightmare isnt easy, not to mention abt stepping into another relationship. Maybe a new fresh start to a wonderful sweet relationship but may also be another nightmare too. I am a man, I have to be strong but not all guys can take such blow. People says that in a relationship, guys are always in an advantage but to me, its seems that I am being played out by her.

tan_william SG

you think you are being outplayed by her is only because you love and dote her alot..you don't wanna hurt her..its her loss that she choice to be with someone else..don't worry..you can find someone better..have faith in fate..he is fair to all..what you have lost now..actually might already been repaied to you..just open your eyes and your heart to see and feel..don't you feel you now have more friends??don't you feel you now have more time for your friends??in life..you gain some,you lose some..don't lose faith in love also..this girl is different from your ex..and not all relationships are the same..btw..are you chinese??if yes then can go listen to a song titled 'Bu zhi de' by dreamfm..quite an old song..but also very nice..good luck and have a nice day.. Very Happy

icepole SG

dear ptw

r'ship is bittersweet.. how many r'ship actually have happily ever after like fairytale? you'd never know what problems other couples face. just take for example an old couple already in their white hairs strolling together hand-in-hand. envy? yes, i do. but i believe their journey down does not come easy. they sure endure lotsa hardships, endless squabbles. yet they emerge stronger cos they are able to overcome all hurdles.

stepping out of nightmare isnt easy like u mentioned. what you have to do for yourself is to wake up from your sleep.

do not lament. do not feel unjust or betrayed anymore. you've survived for 4 months. though devastated, you came so far. hang on there. tell yourself you can do it. give yourself confidence.

did you ever wonder maybe sub-consciously, you've already get over it. its just the imbalance in you that feel undeserved of such treatment from her? let go, and you'll be a happier person.

Project-D SG

been away for a while, hi all,

ptw, actually i on the same boat with u and Tan_willian. been around 1 year + now, still feel hurt. but taking things easiler now compare to the past months...

i tried forget, been trying out with another gal, nice girl but don felt the same way as before... to be fair, i treat her as a close friend, giving myself and her a chance slowly...

ptw, wat they said is TRUE !!, being with someone else will make u forget faster, healing the wound faster by opening your heart to another gal. ...but.. all wound leave a scar....

but........

IMO, the scar (memories of your ex) brings along past happy memories and lesson learnt to be a better BF, make u a better guy and motivate u to zhen xi and create happier memories together with your girl of your life...
remember that there is someone out there, willing to share your happy, sad moments. but other guys are not blind, if u deli dali, u may lost a good chance...

ptw SG

IcePole, maybe you are right, very diff to forget or even forgive on what she has done to me. How I wish I could revenge on her too but thats too mean and thats not me.

icepole SG

ptw, never be vengeful. do not harbor such thought. what goes around comes around.

you'll find happiness very soon IF you allow yourself to.

starExcaliblur SG

Originally posted by Project-D:
been away for a while, hi all,

i tried forget, been trying out with another gal, nice girl but don felt the same way as before... to be fair, i treat her as a close friend, giving myself and her a chance slowly...

ptw, wat they said is TRUE !!, [b]being with someone else will make u forget faster, healing the wound faster by opening your heart to another gal. ...but.. all wound leave a scar....

Not sure abt tis statement, tried b4, mayb not effective 4 me
Went shopping wif some1 else(girl B), while waiting 4 the girl 2 try out her clothes in changing room, memories of the girl (girl A) I couldn't be wif came flooding back

Last december new year's eve, went countdown wif girl B n her friends, after midnite, girl A called, exchanged new years greetings, girl A suggest 2 meet n eat 1 of these days, thoughts of her came rushing back n I immediately suggest meeting near her house 4 breakfast tat morning

but........

remember that there is someone out there, willing to share your happy, sad moments. but other guys are not blind, if u deli dali, u may
lost a good chance... [/b]

tats true, I lost girl A cos I deli dali 2 much

ptw SG

Hi Project D and all Friends,

Sorry for bringing up bad memories.

My cousin ask me what happen during CNY and he thinks that its not worth feeling or even think of how much she has done to me. He said one thing, she is clever in one way to have planned out everything that benefits her and hurts me. My cousin shared the same view as you guys and gals, time will heal, but going through the period really suffering.

I may have the appetite to eat, drink and go out with friends but the feeling of being stabbed multiple times and left to recover is really unbearable, still haunts me at times.
I am not a guy who go for relationship just to so call "play play" , if cant click, find another girl, dump her kinda person. She has so much problem, I went through with her, I did not think of dumping her except at times we quarelled but I still gave her the security that I will not betray her.

Sad What have I done to deserve this?

ptw SG

I went out with the girl yesterday, feel better as compared than last time. She is waiting I think, not as cute s my ex but definitely matured in thinking. Still dun have that feeling as yet, but hope that things will turn out better. I hope…...

Devil1976 SG

Cool

tan_william SG

a cute and pretty girl is good being a gf..a mature girl is good being a wife..gd luck to you.. Smile

icepole SG

glad to hear that you are opening up. cherish what you have now. all the best!

ptw SG

Hi tan_wiiliam and icepole,

glad that I start to open up but the feeling as compared to chasing after my ex is different, different as I am not as enthusiast when I am after my ex. furthermore, although I am with her, there is emptiness in me. My heart tells me that I am not ready, not as yet, there is something I have to settle first, like what my cousin told me that I will only settle my heart not becos I have move on but rather when I know that she has made the wrong choice. I dun know is it true.
Or rather see her suffer for making the wrong choice, then I will move on. I think its abit too cruel. What do you think?

Project-D SG

cuteness is inside of everyone, not just from the outside, u will FEEL it soon Wink Laughing

cuteness lies in the eye of the beholder Razz

tan_william SG

ptw..maybe you are still feeling abit unbalanced..slowly turn your attention to this girl that is waiting for you..let her heal your wounds..its possible that if you will feel abit more balanced if you know she made a wrong choice..cos she betrayed you..but..me think you will feel sorry for her if she really come crying to you that things did not work out..me feel that they already cemented a place in our heart..so we can only move on when we truly forgiven them and let another person make us whole again..try to forgive her.. Very Happy

icepole SG

hi ptw

my thoughts on you :
do not find faults in her anymore. open your heart & let go of your ego which is your true obstacle. do not allow it to obstruct you. set yourself free & you'll become free of everything.

my thoughts on you & the current gal :
the essence of the gal is more important than her physical appearance.
be friends first before establishing a r'ship with her. do not hop onto it when you're not even ready.

my 2 cents worth of thought :
there's no perfect love. instead perfect your love. Wink

tan_william SG

Originally posted by icepole:

my 2 cents worth of thought :
there's no perfect love. instead perfect your love. Wink [/b]

icepole..well said.. Very Happy

ptw SG

Hi to all who have gave me a very good or rather impt advice in handling my current prob, I really need it. By the way, how old are you guys? Seems to have experience more hardship than I do.

I must admit that I am stil very unbalance in handling my feeling. Time do drift my ex apart from me. Didnt see her and hear from her ever since all comms put to halt. Time will heal, time will heal.

But I think that things will never be the same or rather the feeling will never be the same when I first started going after my ex 2 yrs back.

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